Im sorry

Im sorry Im not perfect. Im sorry I hurt people constantly. Im sorry Im a bitch. Im sorry I hate my dad, but love him all the same. Im sorry Im not like my brother. Im sorry Im a horrible daughter. Im sorry I dont live up to Gods standards. Im sorry I drink. Im sorry I smoke. Im sorry I do drugs. Im sorry I cut myself. Im sorry I wish I was dead. Im sorry Im a whore. Im sorry I cant make my mind up about anything. Im sorry I feel like the black sheep in my family. Im sorry I dont like my family. Im sorry Im not amazing in school. Im sorry Im me. Im sorry I dont dress girly. Im sorry I have no manners. Im sorry I judge people. Im sorry I treat people like shit. Im sorry Im not the daughter I should be. Im sorry Kody. Im sorry I hurt everyone else. Im sorry for all the hearts Ive broken. Im sorry for all the tears Ive caused. Im sorry Im a shit friend. Im sorry Im ugly as hell. Im sorry I dont take peoples shit. Im sorry I complain all the time. Im sorry Im not what you want me to be.

Take a Bow..

If I Were a Boy -Rihanna

If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted

And go drink beer with the guys                                                                                  And chase after girls

                                                                I'd kick it with who I wanted

And I'd never get confronted for it

'Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy

I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man                                                                                                 I'd listen to her

'Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

'Cause he's taking you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy

I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone                                                                       I'd put myself first

And make the rules as I go

'Cause I know that she'd be faithful

Waiting for me to come home, to come home

You don't listen to her

You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
                                                   

-Oh How I Want You

And as I sit here holding this gun in my hand, with everyone around me laughing and waiting for me to shoot, it takes all i have not to turn it around, facing my head and pull the trigger. I told you not to let me hold a gun, but you didn't understand the point I was trying to get across. So don't be surprised if one day I'm gone. You walk in and alls you see is me lying in a pool of my own blood. Don't believe people's lies like with Kurt Cobain. No one's gonna kill me. I'll be dead by my own hand. Fuck people and their lies.

Sit back and Cry..

....And I can only sit back and watch You with all the other girls who are better and so much more prettier than me. Who actually treat You right, make You happy, and who seem to understand You better..I can only wish with all the broken pieces of my heart that I was the one in Your arms, the one You always talk to and laugh with. I miss You so fucking much. I miss everything We had together. We were unstoppable. Then You became someone I didn't know. Why'd You change? You said I was the one changing, but really I'm not. I've been the same since I was 2. I wish You would come back to me. Take me in Your arms and tell me that everything will be okay. But these are just lost hopes along with the rest of them in the River of Misery..