Armor for Sleep

I've noticed that I can't let go of anything. The fact that it's sentimental or just an object or idea doesn't matter. I hang on to it. Always thinking about/looking at it. I can't let go of something that happened 3 months ago let alone 4 years ago. Objects aren't as hard for me to let go of as memories and events are. Every single thing I do that's mean or wrong I can't stop thinking about and regretting. And everyday new things get added to that list. Probably contributing to the way I am today. But I can't seem to not do it..

I Really Don't

Scattered

Guys and life are so very confusing. You think they're all sweet and stuff and BAM they turn into douche bags. I cant stand that. And they don't even realize when they hurt you. I don't think guys are stupid, they're just not smart enough to figure out the complex ways of girls and their thoughts and mind. I feel really stupid too because I don't know what to do about anything anymore. I sometimes wish I never started dating; that way things wouldn't be so hard and stressful. I don't see why people can't just be straight up with people. Why people have to talk bad about people to their faces, and especially behind their backs. Why people act fake, or feel like they have to act a certain way for people to like them. It's just like dude, be yourself. Guys don't get that girls don't just want sex. They want it to be balanced, sex sometimes, but the guy still being super sweet and romantic and amazing. I hate high school. I wish I was back in elementary school, when no one judged anyone. Everyone was friends with everyone. It didn't matter what you looked like, or who you hung out with. But now, everyone is changing in order to fit into "the crowd". It's mullarky. My friends are droppin like flies.


"It is better to be hated for what you are then loved for what you are not."
"You don't die from a broken heart, you only wish you did."

Only I'm Not..

"Done With You"
-Papa Roach
I count the days that we have spent apart
I've got a bad liver and a broken heart
There's no salvation in the comfort of you
I finally realized you're tearing me apart

So help me, save me, tell me that the end is near
Help me, save me, tell me that the end is near
I am done with you

You made my life completely miserable
You drove me to the edge, you've caused me all this pain
But I've always loved you 'cause you're oh so special
I'm broken and I'm alone and I cannot maintain

Done with you
I am done with you
I am done with you
I am done with you

I count the days that we have spent apart
I've got a bad liver and a broken heart

Help me, save me,
Tell me that the end is near
Help me, save me,
Tell me that the end is here
I am done with you

Because you and me are through
You couldn't help me
You couldn't save me
Now I know the end is here
I am done with you

I Think I'm Breakin' Up

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me."
I must say that whoever said that is full of shit. Physical pain is sooo much easier to endure than emotional pain. People are assholes. Especially people who talk smack about you behind your back. They only do it because they're scared to say it to your face because they know you'll beat their ass. Stupid pansies. Just like how people write on bathroom walls. What's the point of that? Do you think you're BA because you wrote on a door? I beg to differ. Two-faced fake bitches piss me off. Get the hell out of my life, because it's none of your business. Damn.

Cats? I think not..

So..I've decided that Ima unfortunately become an old woman with a shit ton of gerbils. 

Why gerbils you may ask? 

Because cats, in my opinion, suck. 

And this sucks. 

Blahh. 

I complain entirely too much, but hey, I have reason..

Do You?

You Build Me Up

Then tear me down.

You'd have to use more than a cup

to catch all the blood and pain

seeping out of the veins in my heart and soul.

[It's starting to rain.]

You're making me feel worthless;

I thought you were someone I knew,

but you couldn't give a shit's less.

You don't even have a clue.

I know I have a knack for ruining people's lives,

but I never thought I'd ruin your's.

Whatever you do, you better keep me away from the knives.

You've closed all the doors

that I thought were open for me.

I felt so happy and full of glee,

but now I'm back to where I was.

But it's ok,

'cause you're not bothered in the least.

I Cry Alone

I sit here in my room

wondering when this will end;

With bad thoughts that still loom,

I need to learn how to fend

off the nightmares,

the creatures that attack.

But no one cares.

All of you lack

what I need to go on.

Please help me

before I'm already gone.

I want to be free.

I thought he cut the chains.

I thought everything was done.

But still, everything remains

I'm not even close to having fun.